Johnny Be Good (…Bad & Ugly!)

Shameless, insightful, hilarious, truthful & taboo tales for men on a mission

Songs About Fathers

There are many types of fathers and father-son relationships, and listening to these songs may bring up various emotions for you. Some may help you feel greater appreciation for your father, and others may touch upon painful an unresolved aspects of your relationship. Use them as a catalyst to heal your wounds and improve your relationship.   Papa can you hear me? – Barbara Streisand   Cats in the Cradle – Harry Chapin   Song for Dad – Keith Urban   Father & Son – Cat Stephens   A Father’s Love – Bucky Covington   I’m Sorry Dad – Devvon Terrell   A Boy Named Sue – Johnny Cash   Drinking beer with dad – Kid Rock   Just the two of us – Will Smith   Hey Dad – Matt Stillwell   I love My Dad – Sun Kil Moon   my dad says that’s for pussies bloodhound – Bloodhound Gang   My dad snores – John Williamson   Oilfield Dad – Bryan... read more

A Letter to my Father

One man’s yearning for his father, from across the world This is an open letter that I wrote to my father, in 1997, when I had been overseas for three years. It was a time when I was doing a lot of soul searching and personal growth. My relationship with my father had always been a bit confusing, but on the night I wrote this letter I was able to access a gratitude and a perspective that was (and is) raw and real. I know your hands. I know the shape of your fingers and your fingernails. I know how I feel when you open your face and laugh. I know the way you raise your right eyebrow and talk from the side of your face when you are joking. How you hold your glasses when you laugh so much that you wipe your tears on the back of your hand. Your mischievous guilt when you let off a smelly windy one. How you used to hold my hand in yours and make me feel proud, safe and loved. How I missed you when you weren’t around, how I was scared that you would leave us and not love me. How I trust and respect and love and like you. How you forgive and accept me. How you reach out and catch me so I don’t hurt myself when I fall. How you make it OK. How I am scared not to have you around when you die. How I know you will always love me and look after me. How I am loved and how you have taught... read more

‘The Game’: players, prostitutes, lads and ladies of the night

When Lauren asked if she could kiss me, I instinctively said “no” and tagged another guy to take my place in the scene – a snog was far too ‘in your face’ for my liking, and definitely too intimate for happily married me.

A couple of scenes later, I knew Russell was in trouble when I saw his top lip quiver and the blood rushing to his face. He was enacting a violent bedroom scene with Gemma, strangling her with his left arm while pretending to penetrate her from behind. The director stopped the scene and I allowed Russell to ‘tag me in’ as his replacement to complete the scene. Gemma was naked, but I remained fully clothed throughout the play, as did the four other male volunteers.

‘The Game’ is an incredible live show, in which scenes from the real life stories of six prostitutes are played to the audience. The male characters are all played by non-actors, who…

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How to Love and Support the Amazing Women in your Life

To celebrate International Women’s Day on March 8th, I’m doing my bit to help women by helping men to better understand women, so that we can all have better relationships and happier lives. Menstruation and menopause are things that women experience and men don’t, and therefore it can be difficult for some men to understand and relate to women around those things. That’s why I’ve asked Christine Page to write this guest blog to give us men some advice about this.

As a doctor and counsellor for over 40 years, I’ve been privileged to share intimacies with thousands of women around the world.

My husband Leland says: there’s nothing more beautiful in the Universe than a woman in her power. I’ve met many men who echo this sentiment; they just want to know how to serve the females in their lives. But when asked what they want, their women often reply: if you love me, you should know!

Please, men, don’t walk away or stop asking. Women embody a collective amnesia, following the suppression of all things feminine some 3500 years ago. This has left us with few role models today who express the qualities of a fully empowered and beautiful woman.

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Cancer – A Catalyst for Life Change?

When people discover that they have cancer, their initial reaction is typically “I’m going to die!” You can often see those same words written in the eyes of their loved ones; and it’s true. Life will never be the same again.

My take is not to hand power over, but to use a person’s energy to feel their experience, get the message that cancer wants to give them, and then allow cancer to pass. Thank the messenger for doing its job, then let it go.

It’s not about “think positive then everything will be okay.” It’s more about focusing on what you want to grow, rather than on what you want to go. How do you want life to be on the other side of this? What is life trying to tell you? What needs to die in order for you to be who you really are and live a truer life?

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10 Tips for the Maturing Male

Here are the top ten things that surprised me about ageing:

Flirting
I can get away with flirting, challenging, questioning, laying boundaries, being cheeky and giving compliments like I’d never imagined! I wonder whether it’s my tone, my attitude, or that I’m no longer seen as a horny young man just trying to get a leg over, or whether it’s my new found mature confidence. Whatever it is, I love it! I make eye contact, lower my voice, take my time, tilt my head downwards slightly while my eyeballs look up, and I raise an eyebrow – it works a treat!

Tip: Take a breath, take a chance, hold the space and play – lovingly.

Flossing
I thought my flossing technique had improved because I could feel more between my teeth. It turned out to be receding gums!

Tip: Take care of your gums and teeth, and go to the dentist to check for gum disease. Floss and brush twice a day and if you smoke – stop it!

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How to Cope with your Christmas Family Reunion

There are two types of people: those who enjoy the annual Christmas family gathering and those who don’t. For some people, Christmas with the family is more like a nightmare than a joyous reunion.

Unfortunately, we don’t all get along with every member of our family. Sometimes there’s outright hostility, but more often than not, it’s just an underlying, unspoken tension. What can you do? Often alcohol is used to numb the uncomfortable feelings and jollify, but it can cause more problems than it fixes because it loosens tongues, dissolves the polite civility and unshackles the underlying resentments.

The type of drama that ensues depends upon the family dynamics. At one end of the spectrum, everyone yells at each other and it feels like World War III has broken out. Another scenario resembles a schoolyard bully beating up the sensitive kids, or what’s more socially acceptable is the sensitive ‘victims’ passive-aggressively doing the ‘beating up’ through control and conversational minefields.

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MAN UP! How to grow from suffering in silence to connecting with confidence

BBC3 Online recently released a powerful four minute documentary called “It’s Tough Being A Man”. It’s about depression in men and how men stay silent about it.

I was happy to be one of the men filmed for this documentary because I strongly support the message that we need to change the culture of secrecy that exists around men’s mental health issues. I’ve had to deal with my own mental health issues, when I was younger, and I was able to draw on this experience for the documentary.

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From ‘Am I?’ To “I Am”

Do you remember learning to ride a bike?

I do. Mark Rogers from no. 25 taught me in our street, in front of all the neighbours. I remember the moment of panic as I suddenly realised that I was riding on my own, without stabilisers or Mark holding on to the back of my seat. I wobbled and nearly fell, not because I didn’t have the balance or skill, but because every thought in my panicked head began: ‘am I?’

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