My Wife Married a Ni**er!

Kenny D’Cruz shares how his honeymoon took an unexpected turn when he was racially abused in front of his new wife. “Did I call you a liar? At least I’m not a ni**er and I work for a living!” was my Italian wife’s first real racist ‘attack’, behind my back, from the...

Pushed

I just got home, wearing nothing but a Mac! I was walking along the canal in London’s Camden Town, my head down as I chatted with my fiancé and our friend after her first Mixed Group with us. As we strolled along the canal a couple of young men cut between them and I....

Johnny Be Bad

You are currently watching me lose my blogging virginity ..and I must admit, yet again, it’s  a BIG relief! I remember walking home that morning through my adopted home town, past nosey neighbours with light breezes blowing wafts of sex from my pubescent skin...

Ol’ Grey Hair Is Back

Originally published in my ‘Changing Times’ Column in 2006 This will be the third time I’ve had to deal with that pesky chest hair that so loudly contrasts all the others. I’ve treated it with far more respect than last months discovery: a grey pube which...

I’m In Love With Your Daughter

‘Changing Times’ Column 2006 – 2007 They clapped when the plane landed in Pescara; and I wondered if Angela’s parents would clap when they saw the colour of my skin. Her parents were lovely. I learned a couple of lines of Italian for a respectful greeting...

Homelessness, In The Depths of Winter

‘Changing Times’ Column 2006 – 2007 First snow in London yesterday. It’s magical every time, but biting cold! The first snow my Mother, brother and I saw was in Stone, Staffordshire, in 1972. We were ‘between refugee camps’ and...

Man’s Nature, Calm and Real

‘Changing Times’ Column 2006 – 2007 Have you noticed that when women speak, they sit facing one another; where when men speak, we generally face the same direction, discussing someone or something other than ourselves? Male eye contact, in our society, is...

Toxic Man – What a Waste

‘Changing Times’ Column 2006 – 2007 I used to be a ‘toxic boy’. What a buzz. I loved it! I used to be a workaholic. On the edge, deadlines, clients, meetings, staff, planning, being ‘the star’, leaping around like a mad monkey on heat and being adored for...

Wearing Our Scars

‘Changing Times’ Column 2006 – 2007 Football fanatics, health clubs, wealth clubs, men’s groups, Masons, jocks, pretty boys with designer gear, skinheads, yuppies, cyber folk in virtual relationships, family, the 12-Step tribe, the victim tribe (quite...

Changing Gear, with Clarity Of Needs

‘Changing Times’ Column 2006 – 2007 I received a text message from a friend who asked me to describe her in one word, then forward it on to see what my friends really think about me. Naturally, I saw the opportunity to score Brownie points with a...

One Day, I Wrote This To Me

‘Changing Times’ Column 2006 – 2007 Kenny: Be gorgeous – you are! … and you’ll get yours, honestly. Cut the crap! … addiction, ego, avoidance, laziness, victim. Give energy (clean) … not excuses (lazy). Don’t chase or hide – belong! … from your own centre....

I Will Never Show a Girl My Willy

‘Changing Times’ Column 2006 – 2007 “I won’t be rich or good looking until I’ve found the girl of my dreams.” Kenny aged five, wising-up early to the games people play. Thirty years later and I attracted her. The woman of my dreams. I precisely tweaked my...

Talkin’ bout My Generation

‘Changing Times’ Column 2006 – 2007 Busting at the seams with too much food, not enough water, too much drink, not enough sleep, too much time on my hands; or is it self-harming, as the little child in me reacted to abandonment by my ’partner’ as she took...

A Man Can Change Like The Wind

‘Changing Times’ Column 2006 – 2007 Is there such a thing as good or bad energy? Or is energy… everything. The magical raw material from which we manifest our feelings and fears. It’s up to us what we do with our energy. How we spend and expend,...

Christmas Presence

‘Changing Times’ Column 2006 – 2007 Christmas is a time for spending. Expressions of duty and love, safe from vulnerability. Some celebrate Jesus’ birth. Jesus was born in July. Winter Solstice falls around 25 December, as Christian Churches fall...

Blood – Thicker Than Water, But Not Oil

‘Changing Times’ Column 2006 – 2007 I flew to Goa to touch my ancestral roots; and help my parents convert a concrete shell into a cozy retirement flat. Surrounded by workmen and an early, global-warming heat-wave, temperatures rose, tempers flared...

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