To celebrate International Women’s Day on March 8th, I’m doing my bit to help women by helping men to better understand women, so that we can all have better relationships and happier lives. Menstruation and menopause are things that women experience and men don’t, and therefore it can be difficult for some men to understand and relate to women around those things. That’s why I’ve asked Christine Page to write this guest blog to give us men some advice about this.
As a doctor and counsellor for over 40 years, I’ve been privileged to share intimacies with thousands of women around the world.
My husband Leland says: there’s nothing more beautiful in the Universe than a woman in her power. I’ve met many men who echo this sentiment; they just want to know how to serve the females in their lives. But when asked what they want, their women often reply: if you love me, you should know!
Please, men, don’t walk away or stop asking. Women embody a collective amnesia, following the suppression of all things feminine some 3500 years ago. This has left us with few role models today who express the qualities of a fully empowered and beautiful woman.
Because of this, many women have become mini-men, creating a hardened façade of outer confidence, to protect facets of their femininity which they believe are unacceptable. Inwardly, their insecurities are very similar to those of their grandmothers; worrying about looks, family, security, and relationships. Being in the presence of men, who want to love us beyond the façade, is deeply healing for all women.
So what makes a woman tick? Trying to apply masculine logic to the world of women and their emotional needs will often leave you feeling more confused. This is because, despite the call for gender equality when it comes to pay and opportunities, men and women are basically not the same and, thankfully, never will be!
Let me explain: masculine energy is like the sun; it’s either in the sky or not. A woman’s psyche, on the other hand, follows the phases of the moon, a lunar month lasting 28-29 days. When a woman tries to fit into the masculine solar pattern of 24/7 sameness, her body and mind become imbalanced leading to conditions such as PMS (premenstrual syndrome). In the week before her period, 60% of women suffer misery with bloating, poor self-esteem, mood swings, and cravings.
Please, men, never say, “It’s her hormones” or “it’s that time of the month,” especially if you want to avoid floods of tears or a flying saucepan. And don’t let her believe she’s crazy or just needs ‘happy pills.’
Encourage your loved one to chart the timing of her periods (many women don’t follow their own cycles) and in the week before her period give her:
- Time for self-reflection and self-nurturing.
- Personal space; organize the family to take care of themselves for a change
- Love and hugs when asked
- Freedom from new projects or plans until after her period.
During her period, believe me, she’s at her most powerful, so it’s better if:
- You don’t have sex for the first 3 days
- She doesn’t prepare food (she can fill the freezer beforehand)
- She’s given space for self-care and creative arts.
Then as she emerges from her period, give her the wings to fly as she is creatively unstoppable with physical energy, enthusiasm, and clarity to bring new ideas into reality.
One other sensitive time for women is menopause as your beautiful woman shifts her focus from building her career and caring for her immediate family, to finding inner contentment, while focusing on what she can do in the world to make it a better place for the next seven generations.
All the accompanying menopausal symptoms – hot flushes/ flashes, insomnia, mood swings and weight gain – are there to help the transition. So what can you, as a partner, do/say to help?
- Don’t tell her to diet or exercise to lose weight!
- Love the changes in her body shape; it happens to you too!
- Relieve her of any stress which exacerbates hot sweats.
- Encourage her to take time for creative hobbies
The role of women in society is changing but it’s not in isolation to the evolution of men. When women fully embody their feminine and men proudly walk beside them as their sacred warrior, true respect and peace will be seen on this planet.